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Three Ways to Overcome a Break Up

Three Ways to Overcome a Break Up
Do we ever actually break up with people? After a breakup, we remain Snapchat buddies and Instagram followers; but the position changes. You go from once knowing every intimate hope and dream of another person to suddenly watching their lives through a frosted glass.

 

The conversations stop and you go from being someone’s main confidant to an outsider. Someone who isn’t welcome anymore. This transition can be devastating, life-changing, and confusing. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense to be best friends with someone, then the next day you don’t matter. Having gone through some gnarly break-ups, I want to share with you how I have not only survived them, but grown through the miserable process. God CAN and WILL use break-ups to grow you and teach you how to be more Christlike; you just have to be willing to allow Him.

1. GOD IS YOUR REFUGE

I wish I could show you my prayers from a break-up I went through a while ago. I remember praying the same prayer over and over again from Psalm 18:2, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
I literally prayed this nonstop.
I prayed this in the car, I prayed this in the morning, I prayed this on my pink moped driving to class.
This prayer sustained me.
This prayer comforted me.
Take refuge in your Father during this time. He is the only one who can make you get through this. Alcohol won’t help. Going out won’t help. Those things numb you.
God saves you.
He rescues you.

2. SINGLENESS CAN BE A BLESSING

So many girls want a relationship so badly. We want to share our feelings, passions, and love with another person. God made humans to be relational. That’s a natural, God-inspired desire. It’s not bad, unless it consumes you and comes before God. Also, relationships don’t have to be romantic. You can grow spiritually through friendships. God uses different seasons in our lives to stretch and grow us. Over the past 6 months, I have grown more spiritually than I ever have before. And I know a large reason is because I have been single. For once, I haven’t had a man competing for my attention with the Lord.
Singleness can be huge blessing.
Accept that season in your life and see what God does with it. He has a plan we can’t always comprehend. But remember, God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according His purpose (Romans 8:28).

3. DON’T CONTACT HIM

After a break-up, you need time to recover. I know it is so tempting to call/text/tweet/instagram/snapchat/viber (WHATEVER) him. Just don’t do it. Once you break-up, let it sit. Go be with friends who love you and will encourage you to seek the Lord’s face during this time. Seek God’s presence, don’t run to another guy either. You need to be okay with yourself without a man. I know it’s hard to not contact him-he was your best friend right? You are used to sharing your feelings with him. It seems natural. But remember, he is not that person to you anymore. The relationship has changed and the sooner you understand that, the better. Contacting him will not do you any good, it’ll end up hurting you more. If he refuses to stop contacting you, after you’ve told him multiple times to stop, then block him. If you ended it with him and he can’t respect your decision-that significantly shows how much he respects you. A guy must respect that you have choice in the relationship.

Break-ups suck. They can be some of the most awful, heart-breaking, and devastating times of your life. Whenever you go through a breakup, remember to seek God as your refuge. Pray that prayer from Psalm 18:2 all the time. Write it out and put it on your mirror and memorize it. Lean into God’s Truth that you are His daughter and He loves you immeasurably and walk with that confidence and knowledge at the forefront your mind. Remember, God’s love defines you, not a guy’s affection.
You are a daughter of the Creator of the Universe.
That’s who you are.
That is power. 
God is watching out for you. He has the perfect man chosen for you who will love you and help you walk closer to the Lord. God closes doors for a reason, and it is always because there is a better one He is wanting you to walk through once you are ready. Allow Him to work in your heart and make you into the woman that He has empowered and called you to be-with or without a man.

How I Plan & Stay Organized with Dayspring

How I Plan & Stay Organized with Dayspring

She pressed the brand new planner against her palms, she felt the magic of this little planner tingle in her hands.

This is going to be her year.

The year that she has all her stuff together.

The year she’s gonna actually keep a planner and stay 100% organized.

The year she’s going to be ridiculously efficient and accomplish every goal she sets her mind to. Visions of a 4.0 dance to the forefront of her mind, that promotion she’s been vying for sneaks into her minds eye. Trips abroad. She would finally get to to go to Cinque Terre, Rome, and Venice. And she’s gonna hustle until she gets there.

YES she decided.

This is it.

This is my year.

Softly she heard a tiny voice in the back of her mind gently whisper, “Is it your year, or is it about something bigger than you?” She felt a lump begin to form in the back of her throat.

If you’re anything like me, you are juggling about six balls in the air at a time.

And you thrive off of it.

You love having your hand in tons of different projects because its exciting and challenging. It brings out your dynamic side and gives you the opportunity to be flexible! Everyday brings a new adventure. But there can be a shadow side of that fast paced sprint. It can be a lack of organization and a lack of keeping yourself grounded in what really matters. I am so excited to partner up with Dayspring and Studio 71 to tell you just how i have managed to keep all the projects thriving (your girl works three jobs and this past year I traveled over 15,000 miles), stay organized, and most importantly keeping my spiritual walk in check!

1.Keep Your Eyes Focused on What Matters

When you’re a hustling boss babe, it is so easy to become caught up in the checklists and the satisfaction of ticking off those little boxes. There is something insanely gratifying when you get to check a box amirite?!? Dayspring and Studio 71 get that and so they have created a planner that not only allows you ample space to create your lists and work through them, but also have truth and scripture laced throughout the planner. So you don’t lose sight of who is the author of your story! Not only does this planner have check lists and day by day lines, goals where you can record and track your progress, they also have a month to month calendar that is so helpful for planning ahead (Europe anyone??).

DaySpring planner

2. Planning with an Open Hand

Proverbs 16:9 says man makes his plans, but the Lord establishes his steps. Making plans and getting after them is such a good and beautiful thing, but it’s so important to remember to hold every single plan with an open palm, fully surrendered to God. It can be tempting to feel like we’re in control, but these little nuggets of truth throughout my favorite planner constantly remind me to surrender and hold everything, every checklist, every plan, over to God.

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3. When Times Get Tough

My absolute #1 favorite thing about my DaySpring and Studio 71 Planner is this little page in the back titled, “Hope.” This page details any issue you or a friend might be dealing with. Anger, insecurity, love, and prayer are just a few of the ones listed. Each topic comes with a set of corresponding Bible verses that help you know what God says about these subjects. Whenever the stuff hits the fan-the first-the absolute first place we should be running is Jesus and His Word. This planner makes that incredibly easy. There have been so many times where I’ve sat down for a conversation with a girl and had one of these subjects has come up and its so helpful to know where you can look in scripture together to find truth. You can also use this as a topical Bible study to learn about what God says about each of these subjects!

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You’re a busy lady, between work, school, social life, and travel-you’ve got tons of things going on at once. It’s so important to recognize that planning goes hand-in-hand with trusting God. Believing that He holds your future and every plan you could ever possibly make. That’s what I love about this planner. It allows you to make those plans, stay organized, but also turns your heart to what is most important: your walk with Christ. The gentle reminders throughout gently encouraging you to open your fist that is clamped around that plan and give it over to God. There was so much love and care put into crafting this journal. Women and men worked on it who care and that is so evident to me from the impeccable design, to the beautiful scripture throughout, to the “Hope” page that points us to Jesus!

So girlfriend, as you make your plans for the future, I want to encourage you to make them confidently and boldly, but also with a heart fully surrendered to Jesus, the Author and perfecter or out faith.

Love ya like a sister,

Rach

P.S. I 100% recommend this planner and you can get it here!

Why You Should Stop Letting Instagram Control Your Life

Why You Should Stop Letting Instagram Control Your Life
The two friends analyzed the picture, brows furrowed in concentration.

“But do you think it’s Instagram worthy?” asked the taller of the two. Her small, brunette friend grabbed her iPhone and held it close to her eyes, scrutinizing every detail.
“Yeah, for sure. Your hair looks awesome. Plus that app we found to add makeup makes your skin flawless, you will definitely get at least 200 likes.”
Triumphant, the willowy blonde hit share.
The next hour was marred with compulsive glances at her phone.

She bit her lip, she had only gotten 24 likes and it had been up for 45 minutes: an awful like-to-minute ratio.

She turned to her friend, “Should I take it down? I’ve barely even gotten any likes. How many people have already seen it? Do you think people will notice if I take it down at this point?”
Her friend fell silent, a sympathetic look crossing her face.

We have have the need to feel loved, to feel accepted. Deep within our souls, we long for validation.

We want to be liked.

That longing is normal. I mean, who doesn’t want to feel loved or cared about? The rise of social media has made of all highly aware of just of how popular we are among our peers. The number of likes you get on a picture, the number of followers you have on Instagram, or the number of views you get on your snap story has enabled us to quantitatively determine our popularity.
I know I’ve struggled with this.
The scenario I described above is pretty much a conversation I’ve had with my friends countless times. It’s only been over the past year that I’ve realized that the number of likes I get or the number of followers I have does not determine my worth. In fact, it has zero correlation with my worth.

My worth is found in Christ.
Your worth is found in Christ.
He never changes.
He never gives up on you.

Isn’t that truth so much better than finding your value in the hands of the social media landscape? Whose whims change on a daily basis?

We all have that need to be accepted.

The need is rooted deep within us.

It stems for our need for Christ. Our souls long for completion through an intimate relationship with Him. It’s actually not really about the number of likes, views, or followers.

It’s something much, much deeper than that.

What you truly want is to be accepted and loved unconditionally.

To be fully known and fully accepted.

To lay yourself bare, flaws and all, with every facade stripped away, to have every horrible thing you have ever done exposed-and still accepted and embraced.

That is shocking, compelling, and radical love.

That type of love and acceptance can only come from having a relationship with the Creator of the Universe, who loves you regardless of your Instagram following. Whenever I struggle with my identity I always recall 1 John 3:1, “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” And that is what we are!
We are children of God.

Just let that sink in for a second.
When you walk around with that kind of power at the forefront of your mind, does it really matter how many people have viewed your Instagram Story?
Jesus Christ died for you.

When you are armed with that truth, who cares if you get 15 likes or 1500?

Social Media can be a really good thing. It’s fun to share exciting things happening in your life with your friends. And it can connect friends from all around the world, building friendships and connections has never been easier.

But it can be a negative thing when it controls what you do or when you compulsively check to phone to monitor the number of likes you receive. I challenge you to examine your relationship with social media. Does it dictate what you do? Do you find yourself tying your identity with who likes your picture? Or how well a post performs?

Instead of being focused on your social media accounts, dig into the word of God, grow into your identity as the daughter of the Most High. Spend time praying and drawing near to Him. He promises, “you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). Find a good book that challenges and grows you as a Christian. Understand that your worth stems from Him and Him alone.

We’re in this together sister,

Rach

A Girl’s Guide to Dating

A Girl’s Guide to Dating
Aight sister-I am just going to come out and say it: dating in the 21st century is rough. With all the games we play, technology we utilize, and insanely busy schedules, traditional dating has gone the way of the Dodo.

It seems like mission impossible.

Over the years, I have compiled some good, godly dating advice and personal experiences that I feel God has called me to share with you guys. Being a twenty something Christian girl in the dating world is difficult, but when your perspective is properly focused and you go into a new relationship with a clear mind, armed with scripture, it makes the whole process 100x easier.

1.KEEP YOUR PERSPECTIVE

I say this a lot. And is it numero uno on this list because it is that important. Keep your eyes focused on God. Keep Him as Lord of your life. It is so easy to get wrapped up in a new relationship. It’s easy to get swept away in the romance of it all and that can be a good thing. Don’t feel bad for getting butterflies and getting excited when you see him. That is normal and good! But make sure that he doesn’t take the place that was meant for Christ. Christ can only fill that longing and make you complete.

No guy can even come close to filling that place. When you put that type of unnatural pressure and expectation on a relationship, it will end up hurting both people involved and making you extremely let down.

Matthew 6:33 states,

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Keep Christ as your #1.

2. TO ATTRACT THE BEST, YOU NEED TO BE YOUR BEST

In order to snag the godly guy, you have to be a godly woman. A man who loves God is going to be attracted to a woman who loves the Lord and that is evident through how she treats others, how she serves others, and how she carries herself. I know this should go without saying, but go to church.

Get involved.

Serve the Lord because you love Jesus, not to find a dude.

A servant’s heart is one of the most attractive characteristics a person can possess. If you want a man after God’s own heart, you need to be a woman who loves the Lord. Gaze on Jesus and fall deeper in love with Him.

3. KNOW YOU CAN’T CHANGE A MAN

I know women love projects. We love crafting and decorating our tiny apartments. Athropologie and Hobby Lobby have become my second homes because I love interior design that much. And that is awesome, but do not make a man into your next project. I know we all have had that thought, “he will change for me!”

But do not fall into that deception.

Yes, people can change, but it’s not your job to fix someone. That is the Lord’s work and when you put that kind of burden on yourself it really is not good. Besides you don’t want that homie to change for you-you want him to genuinely love Jesus. Sister, please don’t get into a new relationship wanting to change someone. You can grow closer to God together. But if you enter into a new relationship with the idea that you will evangelize him and lead him to Christ, just don’t.

You can point him to God as a friend, or better yet, find a godly guy friend for him to spend time with. You do not want to fall in love with someone who doesn’t have a relationship with the Lord. That is heartbreaking.

4. HAVE FRIENDS WHO KEEP YOU ACCOUNTABLE

You need to have godly friends: friends who you can share your struggles and temptations with. Friends who will make sure you don’t spend the night at his house and friends who are in fight for purity with you. It’s a tough battle and you can not do it alone. As humans, we are made for companionship. You need friends who encourage you and tell you lovingly when you are in the wrong. This is absolutely critical. Proverbs 27:17 speaks to this truth, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” We need friends who will make us better and hold us accountable!

Hear me when I say this. You need friends who understand the gospel & you need to understand the gospel. Friends who you are not ashamed to share your weaknesses with. You will mess up. And you need friends who won’t shame you and just tell you to do better. But friends who lovingly remind you of the grace that Jesus gives and kindly point you toward turning away from your sin.

Jesus is not about behavior modification alone, He is about heart change.

Here is one of my favorite resources on how the gospel speaks into every aspect of our lives.

Dating is hard. Dating godly is even harder.

Whenever you start a new relationship, keep your heart and your eyes transfixed on the Lord.

Go into that new relationship with your priorities in check and with a clear mind centered on the Lord, holding that relationship with an open hand. Have a strong group of godly girlfriends who do life with you and help each other’s walk with the Lord.

The most important thing to remember when dating is knowing who and what defines you: your relationship with the Lord.

Another crucial thing to remember is that everyone’s path is different. One thing God promises is that He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). So if you’re single, dating, or married-know that you have immeasurable worth in Jesus.

If you’re single-there is nothing wrong with you. God’s timing is different than ours and He sees the big picture while we only see a tiny fragment. Keep your identity in Christ at the forefront of your mind.

 

Love you so much sister and know you are never, ever alone. Jesus promises to be with you until the end of the age (Matthew 28). Please feel free to send this to any friends who are walking through the difficult path of dating!

LYLAS,

Rachel

Spring Wedding Guest Dresses Under $50

Spring Wedding Guest Dresses Under $50
Wedding season is officially here! And that means different dress codes and different outfits for each wedding.

That can be daunting-sometimes the dress code being more casual to others being black tie! It can also get pretty pricey as you shell out cash for each different wedding. So don’t worry girlfriend-I have compiled a list of my favorite wedding guest styles and they’re all under $50 so you can look bougie on a budget!

1. Daisy Print Maxi Dress

Wedding Guest Dresses Under $50

2. Floral Maxi Dress

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3. Pleated Maxi Dress

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4. Feminine Pants Set

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5. Floral Mini Dress

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6. Gingham Print Mini Dress

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7. Floral Tie Maxi

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There ya go! I hope you enjoyed this guide to inexpensive wedding guest dress ideas! I am all about finding great styles for a deal. Let me know if you liked it by commenting below!

LYLAS

Rach