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faith

How I Pray

by Rachel ProchnowLeave a Comment on How I Pray
How I Pray
A feeling of dread gripped her as her small group began “popcorn style” prayer. Everyone’s prayers seemed so much more inspired than hers.

She didn’t really know how to pray. Whenever she prayed, it would usually just trail off into nothing or she would become distracted by the whistle of her iPhone. She waited for a lull to interject a prayer she had been mulling over for the last 15 minutes. But then the worst thing happened—the awkward two-voices-beginning-a-prayer-in-unison, and then the even more uncomfortable, “No, no, you go.” She let the other guy pray his prayer. Feelings of shame and frustration welled up inside her as she wondered, how do you even pray?

I don’t know if any of you have had a similar experience to the one above, but I know I have. Growing up in the church and going to a private high school, I learned the “Christian lingo” pretty rapidly. I figured out what phrases would get the most “mmms” or “amens.” I would throw those bad boys into my prayer to get a little spiritual ego boost, not because I genuinely felt or believed them.

But then I experienced the power of the gospel, and I realized prayer is our way of communicating with our Father.

And He wants to hear us.

He wants to hear genuine prayers.

He wants us to talk to Him. And because we are His children, we can boldly approach His throne (Hebrews 4:16). Once I figured that out, I realized I had been going about this whole prayer thing completely wrong. Let’s examine exactly how Jesus says to pray and His example of prayerfulness throughout His life.

PRAY SIMPLY

When teaching His disciples how to pray, Jesus gives several prescriptions on how to pray and how not to pray. The first thing He says not to do is, “Do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words” (Matthew 6:7). So often, we dress up our prayers to look more spiritual to those around us. God knows what is on our hearts (Matthew 6:8).

He just wants us to bring it to Him in honest, humble, and simple prayers.

There is no need to impress. God has already determined your worth by defeating death to make you His own. You already have the best approval of all—the approval of the Creator of the universe—and you are His child.

UPWARD, INWARD, AND OUTWARD

Throughout the Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6, Jesus gives a pattern we can imitate. Jesus uses direction to focus His prayers in a few different ways.
The first is an upward focus:

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Jesus focuses on God’s character, His holiness, His kingdom, and His will. He begins with worship. He acknowledges a submission to the Father’s will above His own.

Then He shifts His focus inward:

Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts…

He asks the Father for sustenance. He isn’t afraid to boldly ask. This demonstrates a humility and dependence on the Father and total deference to Him. This inward focus includes reflecting on our own hearts—where do we need forgiveness? Where do we need to seek forgiveness?

Lastly, His focus is outward:

…as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Consider the pronouns Jesus uses during this outward shift. He uses we, our, and us. Jesus is praying for others.

Does your prayer life follow this pattern? As I was considering this, I realized my prayer life is extremely self-centered. I needed to spend more time praising God for His character and praying for those around me.

PRAY SCRIPTURE

One of the most enriching and transformative things we can do is actively pray through Scripture.

Go line by line. Just read it, and then pray that you would be able to apply it and it would transform your heart.

Martin Luther used to do this. He said that when you read the Scriptures, “your first duty is to begin to pray.” Here is a practical example of how you can walk through the Lord’s prayer, praying through each line:

“Our Father in heaven”
Thank you for being my Father. Thank you for calling me your own. Help me remember that identity when the world is telling me my identity is in appearance, approval, grades, or achievement.

“Hallowed be your name”
God, your name is holy—you are set apart. You are worthy of all glory, honor, and praise because you are perfect. Teach my heart to remember you are holy.

“Your kingdom come, your will be done”
God, I pray that I would desire your kingdom to come. Help me desire your will over my own.

Oftentimes, I set my alarm for a set amount of time, flip my phone over, and just start praying through a particular passage until my timer goes off. You will be amazed how much God can teach through that time of prayer and being immersed in His Word.

God has made us His own.

Because we are His children, we have direct access to our Father anytime we want.

Prayer is an open line of communication—He wants to hear from us.

Prayer helps us actively live out our identity as sons and daughters of the King. As we pray to our Father, our delight in Him increases and we experience a deeper, more joyful intimacy with Him. It’s my hope and prayer we become people of prayer-women who are utterly dependent on Christ. Drop me a DM or comment if you have other helpful tips on how we should pray!

Love ya like a sister-

Rach

faith

Five Ways to Overcome Shame

by Rachel Prochnow2 Comments on Five Ways to Overcome Shame
Five Ways to Overcome Shame

I don’t know about you guys, but I am a wallower.

 

Whenever I make a mistake, I will beat myself up for hours or even days. Conviction hits me hard. It’s really probably one of my most annoying qualities. All my friends have told me to never, ever wake them up before 9 am. Whenever I am feeling guilty of something, I always have to confess in the early hours of the morning. The Holy Spirit convicts us after we have sinned and that is a good thing: it keeps us in check and makes us continue to walk with God when we’ve strayed. But here’s the thing: we don’t have to feel guilty after we have repented or turned away from our sin. I want to share some truth with you that I need constant reminding of also.

1. YOU ARE SET FREE IN CHRIST

Jesus’ blood has covered you. You are set free from the bondage of sin. You don’t have to continue berating yourself after you have confessed and repented of your sin. Let it go and focus on how you can live your life to honor God instead of analyzing your past mistakes. Dwelling on your past mistakes doesn’t do you any good and it actually minimizes Jesus’ death and resurrection in your mind. Believe that the cross is bigger than your sin, because it is. Once you repent, keep your eyes focused onward and upward. Don’t live in the guilt and shame of your past mistakes, Christ has covered you sister!

2. REMEMBER THAT GOD USES SINNERS

Whenever I open up Psalms, I thank God that He used David. If you are not familiar with his story, David was a “man after God’s own heart” (Acts 13:22) who messed up royally. He committed adultery and then murdered to cover up his sin. I know God used someone like David on purpose: to show us that God can use anyone. God uses sinners and even sinners like David can still have a heart after God. It’s more about God’s grace and glory than it is about us anyway-God loves to work through broken and messed up people just like us.

3. WE’RE ONLY HUMAN

One thing to remember is that we’re all on this life journey together. No matter how godly or perfect someone may seem, every single one of us messes up. Everyone has fallen short of God’s grace. There is nothing we can ever do to deserve it. We will make mistakes, even if we are trying with everything we have to walk with the Lord. We are imperfect people.

4. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES

It’s important to recognize when you’ve messed up and make changes. I know in college, I literally made the same mistakes over and over again. I kept on messing up and then running to God because I felt convicted. Once you’ve made a mistake, put up barriers to help you not make that same mistake. Ask a trusted friend who loves the Lord to hold you accountable to remind you of the power of the gospel. Let your conviction teach you. Remember-God calls us to repentance through kindness-not shame or guilt.

5. GUILT ISN’T ALWAYS HEALTHY

There is a natural conviction that you should feel after you have stepped outside of God’s will. That conviction brings you back to Him and makes you change. But if you have confessed and repented from your sin, then the enemy might be using your guilt as a weapon. I know when I have really messed up, little thoughts creep into my mind and tell me that I am not worthy of God’s love or make me doubt my calling.

These are lies.

God can handle any sin you throw His way. And the cross has already covered it.

It doesn’t matter how huge it is.

He can handle it.

Recognize these lies from the enemy and remind yourself of Ephesians 1:7, “In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” Whenever you feel guilt about a past sin, remember that you are forgiven.

We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. The Holy Spirit will use conviction bring us back to Him. But once you have confessed and repented, don’t continue beating yourself up over a past sin you can’t change.

Instead, look to the future.

See how God can use those past mistakes to bring him glory. You are not tethered to that sin anymore because you are set free in Christ. His blood has completely redeemed you! I am unbelievably thankful for that freedom we have in Christ.

-Rach

faith, fashion

5 Ways to Battle Jealousy

by Rachel ProchnowLeave a Comment on 5 Ways to Battle Jealousy
5 Ways to Battle Jealousy
We all know the girl: the girl who seems to glide through life effortlessly. Her laugh draws others in. She’s the one all the guys want to date and all the girls want to be her best friend. Everything just seems to be handed to her without any effort on her part. It’s annoying when she wins prom queen and gets a full ride to college all in one week. As you watch her charmed life unfold, it’s easy for jealousy for sneak it’s way into your mind and heart. It’s easy for the enemy to begin to embed seeds of doubt into your heart as you begin to want what she has. I’ve found some really helpful tips to battle the green monster of jealousy over the years and wanted to share them with you.

1. KNOW WHO YOU ARE

This is the best way to battle jealousy. When you know that you are so secure in your identity as a daughter of the Most High, everything else fades into the background. Walk in the power and the strength that you are His daughter, embrace your identity as a princess and you will stop worrying about how perfect everyone else’s live may seem. Seek God every day. Make him your focus and your priority; jealousy will fade.

2. FOCUS ON LOVING HER

As Christians we are called to be lights to those around us. That means loving others even when it is hard. Instead of seeing other’s successes in a negative way, celebrate with her! Be genuinely happy when something goes well for your friend. Show her Christ’s love. Put your energy into finding ways to love her rather than tear her down.

3. STOP THINKING OF YOURSELF

It’s really hard not to be self-centered. But sometimes we need to be told that we are not the center of the universe. Whenever we get feelings of jealousy, its because we are focusing too much on ourselves. Sometimes we need to step back and ask God to help us not look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). We should be exhibiting humility to those around us. The Bible actually tells us to consider others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). When we keep this mentality, it keeps jealousy at bay and helps us rejoice when others succeed.

4. DO NOT GOSSIP

It’s so easy to pick apart tiny flaws people have when we want to feel better about ourselves. It’s easy to scrutinize a picture and talk about how she edited it and she’s not that pretty in real life. I know I am guilty of this. Whenever you feel the urge to tear someone down by gossiping, remember who you are representing.
You are representing Jesus.
Jesus loves you and He loves her.
Don’t tear down someone else to make yourself feel better. Besides talking bad about someone else only makes you look insecure and it doesn’t make you any better!

What is beautiful is being confident enough to acknowledge someone else’s intellect, talent, or beauty and knowing that it doesn’t threaten yours at all.

5. JEALOUSY AND FRIENDSHIP CAN’T CO-EXIST

There’s nothing that kills a friendship more than jealousy. You shouldn’t compete with your friends. Instead you should encourage and lift each other up. You should allow and encourage each other to be the best versions of yourselves. Proverbs 17:17 says a friend loves at all times. Keep that mind. Focus on loving your friends and bringing out their best.

Jealousy is something all girls have to battle. We all struggle with it. Whenever you feel it sneaking up on you remember these five tips and most importantly, remember who you are. Remember that you have been called to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. And remember that you are always representing Christ.

Radically,
Rachel

faith, Uncategorized

For the Girl Who Doesn’t Know Her Calling

by Rachel ProchnowLeave a Comment on For the Girl Who Doesn’t Know Her Calling
For the Girl Who Doesn’t Know Her Calling
The wind gently pushed back her auburn hair as she gazed out over the hill country. She felt deep longing well up inside her-a desire to run, to be free, to see the world, to get away from the monotony of her 9-5.

She just wanted to go.

To impact others and do something big-something that mattered.

Frustration ebbed at her core- why hadn’t God revealed His plan for her? Shouldn’t she know what she wants to do with her life? At 25, shouldn’t she know her calling?

Deep inside all of us, we have a need to impact others-to make a difference. We all want to matter. Sometimes it is so frustrating to feel like we don’t know or understand God’s plan for our lives. Trusting Him can be difficult. Handing control over to Him can be one of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do. I mean we’re boss babes, right? We fix our problems. So completely relinquishing that power and control to the Lord can feel impossible, it can even make you feel sick to your stomach. Last year I remember not knowing at all what God’s plan held in store for me and I am still learning. I remember praying everyday that He would reveal His will for my life. I’ve come up with a few tips and things to remember as you are soul-searching and asking God for guidance.

  1. IF GOD IS YOUR #1, YOU CANNOT LOSE

If the Lord is at the root of your being-your guiding force in your life, you cannot lose. Remember Romans 8:31, “If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Who can stand against the Creator of the Universe? Oh yeah and don’t forget-He is your Father.
God is for you.
He loves you, He is fighting for you.

Psalm 18:32-33 says,
“It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights.”
God enables you.
He allows you to stand before His presence in confidence. Keep the Lord where He belongs-as the priority of your life and you simply cannot lose.

2. WAIT ON THE LORD

Today I was reading my Bible and I stumbled upon Psalm 27:14, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”
Sometimes God wants us to wait.
With our culture (and myself tbh) that probably doesn’t sit too well. I mean we live for instant gratification-we can see what all our friends are doing instantly on IG, be entertained instantly on TikTok, or if we’re hungry we just drive through Chick Fil A (AKA the Lawd’s chicken). So God telling us to wait seems contrary to what is ingrained within us. But through waiting-God is perfecting us-He is building trust within us and building our patience. When we wait on the Lord and seek Him that is making us grow increasingly more Christlike. And that is the ultimate goal- to resemble our Lord more and more as each day passes.

3. PRAY

If you are frustrated-tell that to God. He wants to hear about your sadness and annoyances. He wants to know.
He wants to know everything.
Remember Matthew 6:26, “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?” We have a God who is alive and active, He wants to hear your prayers. He isn’t passive eating bonbons in heaven, out of touch and uncaring. I know it can feel like that sometimes, I’ll be the first to admit it. But remember He died and defeated death just to know you. In Philippians 4:7 God reminds us,
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Talk to God.
If you don’t have time-make time. Lately I have been setting five alarms and getting up extra early because it is literally the only time of the day I can find for the Lord.

You always make time for the things that matter to you, you wouldn’t ignore your BFF or your bf. You make time for those you love-including God.

Waiting on the Lord and wanting him to reveal His plan for your life is difficult. It takes trusting in the Lord and allowing him to work in His own timing. Focusing your heart on Him through prayer and making sure that He is Lord of your life is the best way to let him open your heart and reveal to you what His plan for you is. Remember Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Trust in Him and lean into His perfect strength, because when we are weak, He is strong.

-Rach

faith

Three Ways to Overcome a Break Up

by Rachel ProchnowLeave a Comment on Three Ways to Overcome a Break Up
Three Ways to Overcome a Break Up
Do we ever actually break up with people? After a breakup, we remain Snapchat buddies and Instagram followers; but the position changes. You go from once knowing every intimate hope and dream of another person to suddenly watching their lives through a frosted glass.

 

The conversations stop and you go from being someone’s main confidant to an outsider. Someone who isn’t welcome anymore. This transition can be devastating, life-changing, and confusing. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense to be best friends with someone, then the next day you don’t matter. Having gone through some gnarly break-ups, I want to share with you how I have not only survived them, but grown through the miserable process. God CAN and WILL use break-ups to grow you and teach you how to be more Christlike; you just have to be willing to allow Him.

1. GOD IS YOUR REFUGE

I wish I could show you my prayers from a break-up I went through a while ago. I remember praying the same prayer over and over again from Psalm 18:2, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
I literally prayed this nonstop.
I prayed this in the car, I prayed this in the morning, I prayed this on my pink moped driving to class.
This prayer sustained me.
This prayer comforted me.
Take refuge in your Father during this time. He is the only one who can make you get through this. Alcohol won’t help. Going out won’t help. Those things numb you.
God saves you.
He rescues you.

2. SINGLENESS CAN BE A BLESSING

So many girls want a relationship so badly. We want to share our feelings, passions, and love with another person. God made humans to be relational. That’s a natural, God-inspired desire. It’s not bad, unless it consumes you and comes before God. Also, relationships don’t have to be romantic. You can grow spiritually through friendships. God uses different seasons in our lives to stretch and grow us. Over the past 6 months, I have grown more spiritually than I ever have before. And I know a large reason is because I have been single. For once, I haven’t had a man competing for my attention with the Lord.
Singleness can be huge blessing.
Accept that season in your life and see what God does with it. He has a plan we can’t always comprehend. But remember, God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according His purpose (Romans 8:28).

3. DON’T CONTACT HIM

After a break-up, you need time to recover. I know it is so tempting to call/text/tweet/instagram/snapchat/viber (WHATEVER) him. Just don’t do it. Once you break-up, let it sit. Go be with friends who love you and will encourage you to seek the Lord’s face during this time. Seek God’s presence, don’t run to another guy either. You need to be okay with yourself without a man. I know it’s hard to not contact him-he was your best friend right? You are used to sharing your feelings with him. It seems natural. But remember, he is not that person to you anymore. The relationship has changed and the sooner you understand that, the better. Contacting him will not do you any good, it’ll end up hurting you more. If he refuses to stop contacting you, after you’ve told him multiple times to stop, then block him. If you ended it with him and he can’t respect your decision-that significantly shows how much he respects you. A guy must respect that you have choice in the relationship.

Break-ups suck. They can be some of the most awful, heart-breaking, and devastating times of your life. Whenever you go through a breakup, remember to seek God as your refuge. Pray that prayer from Psalm 18:2 all the time. Write it out and put it on your mirror and memorize it. Lean into God’s Truth that you are His daughter and He loves you immeasurably and walk with that confidence and knowledge at the forefront your mind. Remember, God’s love defines you, not a guy’s affection.
You are a daughter of the Creator of the Universe.
That’s who you are.
That is power. 
God is watching out for you. He has the perfect man chosen for you who will love you and help you walk closer to the Lord. God closes doors for a reason, and it is always because there is a better one He is wanting you to walk through once you are ready. Allow Him to work in your heart and make you into the woman that He has empowered and called you to be-with or without a man.