Three Ways to Overcome a Break Up

Three Ways to Overcome a Break Up
Do we ever actually break up with people? After a breakup, we remain Snapchat buddies and Instagram followers; but the position changes. You go from once knowing every intimate hope and dream of another person to suddenly watching their lives through a frosted glass.

 

The conversations stop and you go from being someone’s main confidant to an outsider. Someone who isn’t welcome anymore. This transition can be devastating, life-changing, and confusing. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense to be best friends with someone, then the next day you don’t matter. Having gone through some gnarly break-ups, I want to share with you how I have not only survived them, but grown through the miserable process. God CAN and WILL use break-ups to grow you and teach you how to be more Christlike; you just have to be willing to allow Him.

1. GOD IS YOUR REFUGE

I wish I could show you my prayers from a break-up I went through a while ago. I remember praying the same prayer over and over again from Psalm 18:2, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
I literally prayed this nonstop.
I prayed this in the car, I prayed this in the morning, I prayed this on my pink moped driving to class.
This prayer sustained me.
This prayer comforted me.
Take refuge in your Father during this time. He is the only one who can make you get through this. Alcohol won’t help. Going out won’t help. Those things numb you.
God saves you.
He rescues you.

2. SINGLENESS CAN BE A BLESSING

So many girls want a relationship so badly. We want to share our feelings, passions, and love with another person. God made humans to be relational. That’s a natural, God-inspired desire. It’s not bad, unless it consumes you and comes before God. Also, relationships don’t have to be romantic. You can grow spiritually through friendships. God uses different seasons in our lives to stretch and grow us. Over the past 6 months, I have grown more spiritually than I ever have before. And I know a large reason is because I have been single. For once, I haven’t had a man competing for my attention with the Lord.
Singleness can be huge blessing.
Accept that season in your life and see what God does with it. He has a plan we can’t always comprehend. But remember, God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according His purpose (Romans 8:28).

3. DON’T CONTACT HIM

After a break-up, you need time to recover. I know it is so tempting to call/text/tweet/instagram/snapchat/viber (WHATEVER) him. Just don’t do it. Once you break-up, let it sit. Go be with friends who love you and will encourage you to seek the Lord’s face during this time. Seek God’s presence, don’t run to another guy either. You need to be okay with yourself without a man. I know it’s hard to not contact him-he was your best friend right? You are used to sharing your feelings with him. It seems natural. But remember, he is not that person to you anymore. The relationship has changed and the sooner you understand that, the better. Contacting him will not do you any good, it’ll end up hurting you more. If he refuses to stop contacting you, after you’ve told him multiple times to stop, then block him. If you ended it with him and he can’t respect your decision-that significantly shows how much he respects you. A guy must respect that you have choice in the relationship.

Break-ups suck. They can be some of the most awful, heart-breaking, and devastating times of your life. Whenever you go through a breakup, remember to seek God as your refuge. Pray that prayer from Psalm 18:2 all the time. Write it out and put it on your mirror and memorize it. Lean into God’s Truth that you are His daughter and He loves you immeasurably and walk with that confidence and knowledge at the forefront your mind. Remember, God’s love defines you, not a guy’s affection.
You are a daughter of the Creator of the Universe.
That’s who you are.
That is power. 
God is watching out for you. He has the perfect man chosen for you who will love you and help you walk closer to the Lord. God closes doors for a reason, and it is always because there is a better one He is wanting you to walk through once you are ready. Allow Him to work in your heart and make you into the woman that He has empowered and called you to be-with or without a man.

A Girl’s Guide to Dating

A Girl’s Guide to Dating
Aight sister-I am just going to come out and say it: dating in the 21st century is rough. With all the games we play, technology we utilize, and insanely busy schedules, traditional dating has gone the way of the Dodo.

It seems like mission impossible.

Over the years, I have compiled some good, godly dating advice and personal experiences that I feel God has called me to share with you guys. Being a twenty something Christian girl in the dating world is difficult, but when your perspective is properly focused and you go into a new relationship with a clear mind, armed with scripture, it makes the whole process 100x easier.

1.KEEP YOUR PERSPECTIVE

I say this a lot. And is it numero uno on this list because it is that important. Keep your eyes focused on God. Keep Him as Lord of your life. It is so easy to get wrapped up in a new relationship. It’s easy to get swept away in the romance of it all and that can be a good thing. Don’t feel bad for getting butterflies and getting excited when you see him. That is normal and good! But make sure that he doesn’t take the place that was meant for Christ. Christ can only fill that longing and make you complete.

No guy can even come close to filling that place. When you put that type of unnatural pressure and expectation on a relationship, it will end up hurting both people involved and making you extremely let down.

Matthew 6:33 states,

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Keep Christ as your #1.

2. TO ATTRACT THE BEST, YOU NEED TO BE YOUR BEST

In order to snag the godly guy, you have to be a godly woman. A man who loves God is going to be attracted to a woman who loves the Lord and that is evident through how she treats others, how she serves others, and how she carries herself. I know this should go without saying, but go to church.

Get involved.

Serve the Lord because you love Jesus, not to find a dude.

A servant’s heart is one of the most attractive characteristics a person can possess. If you want a man after God’s own heart, you need to be a woman who loves the Lord. Gaze on Jesus and fall deeper in love with Him.

3. KNOW YOU CAN’T CHANGE A MAN

I know women love projects. We love crafting and decorating our tiny apartments. Athropologie and Hobby Lobby have become my second homes because I love interior design that much. And that is awesome, but do not make a man into your next project. I know we all have had that thought, “he will change for me!”

But do not fall into that deception.

Yes, people can change, but it’s not your job to fix someone. That is the Lord’s work and when you put that kind of burden on yourself it really is not good. Besides you don’t want that homie to change for you-you want him to genuinely love Jesus. Sister, please don’t get into a new relationship wanting to change someone. You can grow closer to God together. But if you enter into a new relationship with the idea that you will evangelize him and lead him to Christ, just don’t.

You can point him to God as a friend, or better yet, find a godly guy friend for him to spend time with. You do not want to fall in love with someone who doesn’t have a relationship with the Lord. That is heartbreaking.

4. HAVE FRIENDS WHO KEEP YOU ACCOUNTABLE

You need to have godly friends: friends who you can share your struggles and temptations with. Friends who will make sure you don’t spend the night at his house and friends who are in fight for purity with you. It’s a tough battle and you can not do it alone. As humans, we are made for companionship. You need friends who encourage you and tell you lovingly when you are in the wrong. This is absolutely critical. Proverbs 27:17 speaks to this truth, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” We need friends who will make us better and hold us accountable!

Hear me when I say this. You need friends who understand the gospel & you need to understand the gospel. Friends who you are not ashamed to share your weaknesses with. You will mess up. And you need friends who won’t shame you and just tell you to do better. But friends who lovingly remind you of the grace that Jesus gives and kindly point you toward turning away from your sin.

Jesus is not about behavior modification alone, He is about heart change.

Here is one of my favorite resources on how the gospel speaks into every aspect of our lives.

Dating is hard. Dating godly is even harder.

Whenever you start a new relationship, keep your heart and your eyes transfixed on the Lord.

Go into that new relationship with your priorities in check and with a clear mind centered on the Lord, holding that relationship with an open hand. Have a strong group of godly girlfriends who do life with you and help each other’s walk with the Lord.

The most important thing to remember when dating is knowing who and what defines you: your relationship with the Lord.

Another crucial thing to remember is that everyone’s path is different. One thing God promises is that He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). So if you’re single, dating, or married-know that you have immeasurable worth in Jesus.

If you’re single-there is nothing wrong with you. God’s timing is different than ours and He sees the big picture while we only see a tiny fragment. Keep your identity in Christ at the forefront of your mind.

 

Love you so much sister and know you are never, ever alone. Jesus promises to be with you until the end of the age (Matthew 28). Please feel free to send this to any friends who are walking through the difficult path of dating!

LYLAS,

Rachel

Spring Wedding Guest Dresses Under $50

Spring Wedding Guest Dresses Under $50
Wedding season is officially here! And that means different dress codes and different outfits for each wedding.

That can be daunting-sometimes the dress code being more casual to others being black tie! It can also get pretty pricey as you shell out cash for each different wedding. So don’t worry girlfriend-I have compiled a list of my favorite wedding guest styles and they’re all under $50 so you can look bougie on a budget!

1. Daisy Print Maxi Dress

Wedding Guest Dresses Under $50

2. Floral Maxi Dress

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3. Pleated Maxi Dress

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4. Feminine Pants Set

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5. Floral Mini Dress

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6. Gingham Print Mini Dress

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7. Floral Tie Maxi

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There ya go! I hope you enjoyed this guide to inexpensive wedding guest dress ideas! I am all about finding great styles for a deal. Let me know if you liked it by commenting below!

LYLAS

Rach

Trusting God in Singleness

Trusting God in Singleness

I don’t know about you guys, but I often times fail to trust God fully.

You would think at this point in my life, I would have it down. I’ve seen God take the most broken of circumstances and turn them for my good and His glory. But for some reason, I am struggling. I know I am not the only girl out there trying to trust God fully and getting frustrated with my own lack of faith. So as I write this post, I want you to know, I am right there with you sister-fighting to believe God’s plan is best, fervently praying that God would help me believe His promises, and desperately wanting Him to capture my heart more. That being said, let’s find out together what it looks like to trust God during singleness.

SINGLENESS IS NOT A PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED

I can’t tell you how many people ask me how I am single or try to set me up with their husband’s twenty-something co worker. I want to tell all of them that singleness actually isn’t a problem to be solved.

In fact, singleness is a gift.

In 1 Corinthians 7:34, Paul says, “And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married one is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.”

Singleness is a unique time in a person’s life where he or she can be completely devoted to furthering God’s kingdom. It’s not wrong to desire a husband, but it does become a problem if that desire supersedes a desire for Jesus. If you are single right now, then God has called you to singleness in this particular time. Until you are engaged, God has called you to singleness. That means an undivided dedication to seeing Jesus’ kingdom expanded. And girlfriend-that is AWESOME!

WHAT IS MARRIAGE’S PURPOSE ANYWAY?

The purpose of marriage is to display the gospel.

Paul explicitly lays out the purpose of marriage in Ephesians 5. He explains mens role in marriage,
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

“IF YOU WANT A MARRIAGE THAT REFLECTS THE DESIGN GOD INTENDED, THEN WAIT ON THE LORD AND THAT INFORMS WHO AND HOW YOU DATE.”

The role of the wife is the church, whom Christ laid His life down for. The role of the man is Christ.

Christ died for the church.

Marriage displays the gospel in a unique and beautiful way. If you want a marriage that reflects the design God intended, then wait on the Lord and that informs who and how you date. Are you dating men who treasure Jesus above all else? Are you seeking Jesus with all your heart and seeking to live a life worthy of the calling you have received?

LEAN INTO GOD’S PROMISES

The other day, I asked one of my guy friends how he had such strong faith in Jesus-how was his faith so unwavering? His answer was simple:
Pray and read God’s Word.
Everyday I pray for a heart that mirrors Jesus-a heart that treasures Jesus above all else. I beg God to capture my heart more, so that I have nothing before Him.

Guys, I fail a lot.

Trusting God is difficult and praise the Lord He is faithful when we are faithless. Lamentations 3:22-23 are two verses I always cling to,

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.”

His love never changes.
His love never doubts you.

Jesus took your place and you are made right before God because of His perfect blood. Ask Him to help you remember that. God wants you, His daughter, to come to Him in prayer-to beg Him to transform your heart.

DAILY REMIND YOURSELF OF HIS FAITHFULNESS

How has He transformed your life already?

Remember when you first felt the weight of your sin. Recall when you first heard that Jesus Christ, who was fully man and fully God, lived the perfect life, died the death that you deserved because of your sin, but then defeated death, and was raised to life and is seated at God’s right hand.

Remember the first time you heard that and allow your heart to be filled with thankfulness.

One of my favorite authors, Jerry Bridges says, “Preach the gospel to yourself everyday.” Tim Keller tweeted (classic Timmy, amirite?!), “The gospel is not just the ABC of the Christian life but the A to Z of the Christian life.”

“THERE WILL BE NO MAN WHO CAN POSSIBLY COMPLETE YOU. THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO THAT IS JESUS. PUTTING THAT KIND OF PRESSURE ON A GUY WILL CRUSH HIM AND THE RELATIONSHIP PREEMPTIVELY.”

 The gospel is the lens from which you view everything. Set your mind on His faithfulness and goodness, and stop being so concerned with who you are going to marry. Contrary to Jerry Maguire, there will be no man who can possibly complete you. The only one who can do that is Jesus. Putting that kind of pressure on a guy will crush him and the relationship preemptively. Trust that God is working all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 2:28).
Singleness can be a difficult time, but it can also be a really awesome time. Consider these questions as you learn to trust God during this season of your life.

Are you living your life unafraid and passionately for His Name?

Are you fulfilling the Great Commission by making disciples and teaching them all Jesus taught?

Are you bringing your desires to Him and asking Him to strengthen your faith?

Are you going to His Word everyday and fighting to believe His promises?

“GOD IS USING EVERYTHING TO TRANSFORM YOU MORE INTO THE IMAGE OF JESUS”

God is using everything to transform you more into the image of Jesus. You are a woman empowered by the Holy Spirit to live a life for the sake of the gospel. It’s my prayer for all of us to be changed more and more into the image of our Savior as we learn to trust Him more fully.

Lylas,

Rach

My 10 Beauty Must-Haves

My 10 Beauty Must-Haves
She stepped past the threshold of Sephora, eyes alight with excitement.

Everything was beautiful and sparkly and the scent of Chanel wafted through the air. She felt excited with all the possibilities before her. She knew what she needed: bronzer. As she wandered down each aisle, things became more muddled-should she get the Tarte shimmery bronzer or the Hourglass lighting bronzer? Oh no-or the Nars blush/bronzer duo? Slowly her excitement began to ebb. There were so many options here. She scanned the store for a sales associate-but no one came to her aid-all were busy helping other customers. Her excitement soon faded into a feeling of overwhelming frustration. This was supposed to be a fun trip! But there were just so many options and she didn’t know which to choose.

 

If you’ve been in that same scenario-I feel ya girl. There have been so many times I’ve wandered into Sephora or Ulta and been totally lost. But through some ok years of trial and error, I have tried hundreds of products and found my top 10 Beauty must haves. This way, you can go into Sephora like the girl boss that you are and confidently snag these products and know they are bomb! Alright, let’s jump right in sista.

 

 1. Dress Code Elchim Blow Dryer

This is the Rolls Royce of blow driers. It runs a little pricey, but girl-it is literally amazing. I will do anything to cut my blow drying time and this bad boy cuts it right in half. My hair went from taking 45 minutes to blow dry to 15. Reminder that whenever you blow dry, use heat protector. Apply it twice: first before blowdrying and then again before you style your hair. The heat from the blow-drier evaporates the first layer and you gotta protect those gorgeous locks! This is 100% worth every penny I spent on it. I bought it straight from Amazon because prime shipping is life.

2. Origins Out of Trouble Mask

This mask is perfect for anyone with acne prone skin. I use it once a week and it always leaves my skin so smooth. Plus it never dries out your skin! Just leaves it feeling perfectly supple and radiant. Ever since I started using this, I rarely break out. And as someone who used to have severe cystic acne-I am so thankful I found this mask! It’s the only mask I consistently use.

3. Olaplex No 3

If you want bomb hair-get this treatment and use it every week! I’ve gotten my hair so long and healthy thanks to this treatment and my amazing hairstylist who takes amazing care of my locks. Many of you comment on my hair and I want you to know-my hair wasn’t always long and healthy! I used to have extensions 24/7. Getting my hair healthy was a journey and this treatment was a huge part of it. This is different than a hair mask because it rebuilds your hair from the shaft, fixing the damage done by color or highlights. I cannot recommend this product enough!

Pro-tip: Whenever you get your hair highlighted, colored, or balayaged, ask your stylist to mix in Olaplex No 2. It’s a more concentrated version of No 3 and is a game changer.

4. e.l.f. Poreless Face Primer

Apply this below your makeup and your skin looks so smooth and flawless! I also love that its affordable. It’s comparable to the Smashbox primers-but this one is cheaper 😉

5. SmashBox Studio Skin 24 Hour Concealer

This is the best concealer of all time. Even when I’ve gotten 3 hours of sleep and am exhausted, I just put this bad boy under my eyes and no one is the wiser! I swear by this concealer-its that good.

6. The Perfect Face Loose Powder in Y2

This is another hack I have learned for those pesky under-eye circles. After I do my concealer and foundation, I put this on liberally under my eyes and then proceed to do my eyeshadow. Then I take my powder brush and brush it away! And voila-no under eye circles ever again!

7. Milk & Honey Cream Deodorant in Coconut Vanilla

You know how everyone is switching to natural deodorant but then everyone kind of smells bad? That was my worst fear, so when setting out to find a natural deodorant that worked, I asked my boyfriend, best friend, and my mom to tell me if I ever smelt bad. Tbh there was no way I was gonna sacrifice smelling good to make the switch. Luckily, I found this natural deodorant from Milk & Honey and its amazing. Not only does it smell good, but it works. Just like regular deodorant, you apply it every morning! I seriously love it. The only drawback is that its cream, so you apply it differently. But I heard they were developing a stick form which I am stoked about!

8. Hoola Bronzer

I will never, ever use another bronzer. I love it because there’s zero sparkle in it. Its completely matte with brown undertones-giving you a sun baked glow that looks completely natural. I use it for my contour and its simply amazing.

9. Clean and Clear Oil Absorbing Sheets

Ok-I love love love these things. As you could’ve guessed, I have oily skin. So usually about 9 hours into the day, my skin begins to produce lots of oil and get shiny. I love strategically using shine for highlighter-but looking super shiny all over isn’t my jam. So I’ll bring these little guys with me-especially during shoots because they don’t disturb your make-up!

10. Conair Xtreme Heat Rollers

Wanna know how I achieve those big curls? This is my secret! Yes, you may definitely will look like a grandma when getting ready, but who cares! Your hair will end up looking crazy awesome in the end!

There ya go! Take this list with you next time you venture into Sephora or Ulta and never feel overwhelmed by all the options again! I got chu girlfriend! Feel free to share this list with your friends. And better yet, if you have a product I have to try-let me know in the comments below!

LYLAS-

Rach